Here's my new plan for fame and fortune. Well, fortune. Well, conning people and getting them to give me money no matter what I've caught. Which is the same thing. More or less.
- Get religion. Starting religious sects and cults is the best way to get the desperate and gullible to give you money hand-over-fist. It's the 20th century success story. Yes, I know it's technically the 21st century now, but really it's just C20v2.0. Same difference.
- Be as conservative as possible. Find some common practices and denounce them as sins committed only by the sick and depraved.
- Get caught performing said practices.
- Claim to be undergoing treatment and that you are now 100% heterosexual, clean, sober, monogamous, whatever.
- Your followers will forgive you. After all, who's going to tell them what to do if you don't?
- Ask them to give you more money when you decide to work at a 'halfway house' for drug addicts, pushers and prostitutes.
- Laugh as you rake in the cash. Think of some more hobbies that the faithful can subsidise for you.
Thanks, Ted. You're a friggin' genius.
Originally posted to Slack 'n' Hash on August 25, 2007.
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