Friday 14 November 2008

How to Make Money #4 of 10

This is the best idea of the lot, really it is. Hope you're reading this, Nick. Make sure you bookmark this post because this tip could change your life.

Street Entertainment
This is possibly the most difficult way of raising your profile, but it's well worth it. For this you'll need a friend, or at least someone who can spend more than five minutes in your presence without holding his nose. Make sure he's bigger than you. That bit won't be quite so difficult, obviously. Now, take off all your clothes (don't worry, the hair will cover most of the worst of it) and put on a bright red waistcoat and a fez. Your friend (preferably blind as well, actually) should have a music-box, an organ, accordion, concertina or a jack-in the box. While he plays, you dance. Don't worry about your complete lack of physical grace. Just pause occasionally to masturbate and in a poor light you should pass for a monkey.

2 comments:

Jenny said...

LOL. I almost spit coffee out when I read it. I think I have an image for one of my next Nicky story spoofs.

Unknown said...

Take it with my blessing. Any music played on the concertina would probably sound better if it were naval.

The hornpipe, maybe?