In these tough times, it's hard for a writer to make as much money as he or she would like. Magazines shut down all the time, advances might not be quite as generous as you'd like, and we all have to work just that bit harder for our dosh.
But what if you don't like working? What if you want to keep describing yourself as a writer, but really can't be arsed to do much more than flail randomly at your sticky keyboard for half an hour a day? How can you take the fruits of your half-arsed labours and monetise the fuck out of it? As always, dear readers, Bluey has the answer to all your problems. Assuming of course your name is Nickolaus Pacione and you spend your time squatting in a basement, swaddled in feculent blankets and foaming at the mouth. Anyone else probably won't find this advice quite as useful.
Still, now we've whittled you lot down to this post's target audience (give us a wave, Nick, we know you're there; we can hear you breathing) let's crack on with the first of ten sure-fire money-making tips. After all, your AC articles aren't getting you the money you want for that Chinese takeaway, and your jeans are still on sale, so it's time to find new revenue streams!
- Porn
- No, don't worry. You don't have to write it. You can keep saying you don't write erotica (even if your stories are full of more Freudian slips than a psychoanalyst's lingerie catalogue). I mean proper pornography: erotic pictures. You do like to take photographs of yourself, after all, so this isn't too big a leap for you. Your well-documented fondness for bondage sleepsacks can easily be turned to profit. Just take a few photographs of yourself in select poses and send them to hobosexual.com. Just make sure you've still got some coldsores. In a few short weeks, you could be the new Goatse!
Now, I did promise a total of ten money-making tips. So you'll just have to stay tuned this week for the other nine, won't you?
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