How to Make Money, the definitive guide

"Help us, Uncle Bluey!" I heard you whimper. "You posted so many wonderful hints on making money that we can't possibly keep track of them all! However shall we manage?"

Honestly. What would you do without me?

1. Porn
2. Specialist Entertainment
3. Tourism
4. Street Entertainment
5. Write begging letters
6. Prostitution
7. Cry on video
8. Work for websites
9. Sell your underwear
10. XXXXXXX

Still, that's enough of Nicky for now. The well has run dry. It's time for something else. And strangely enough, I'm not short of ideas yet. By twiddling Little Jimmy (as I call my third nipple) I'm able to tune into the psychosphere. My horns aren't just for show, readers; they're radio aerials. Let's see what ideas come out of the ether, shall we?

Ah, yes. Here's one. The Lawrence Dagstine guide to fame. Ten hints and tips to give everyone's favourite troll the acclaim he so richly deserves.

Stay tuned, folks.

How to Make Money #10 of 10

I held on for a while, waiting to see how things panned out. Surprisingly cautious behaviour, I know; believe me, I felt funny while doing it. Still, I'm back now, and I have the final top tip for Nickolaus if he's still interested in making megabucks. Still, this is an easy hint that's almost guaranteed to make money, so without further ado, let's crack on. Hang on, there's a knocking at the door…

INTERMISSION

Well I never. I didn't know I had a legal team. Still, they've told me that if I publish the last tip, I could be held liable for any consequences. Charges could be preferred and they'd actually stick too. If I had a heart, dear readers, it'd have been in my mouth.

Still, we came to an agreement. I can publish the tenth and final money-making tip for Nickolaus Pacione, but I have to redact most of it. Buggered if I know how this'll work, but here goes anyway.

XXXX XXXX XXXXXXXX XX XXXXXXX

XXXXXXXXX XXXXXXX XXX medication XXXX XXXX XXXXXX XXXXX XXX XX XXXXXX XXX XXXXXXXXX XXXXX XXX XXXXX XXX XXXXX XXX XXX X X XXXXX XXX XXXX XXX XXXX XX XX XX XXXXXX XXXX

XXXXX XXXX XXXX XX XXXX XXX XX XXXXXX XX XX $1.00 XXX XXX XX XXX X XXXXXXXXX XXX XX X XXX XXXXX XXX XXX X X XXXXX XXX XXXXXXX XXX XXXX XX XXXXX XXX XXXXXXXXXX XXXX

XXXX XX XXXXXX XXXXX $100 X XXXX XXX XXXXXXX XXXXX

Whew. Right. That's your lot. I'll post a list of links to all ten money-making tips next, and then after that I can write about something else. Thanks, Nicky. You've been an absolute riot.