Sunday 13 January 2008

Mike Read's Got Beautiful Breath

Just a quick post today. I thought I'd sing the praises of fandom, because not enough people do. They're an underappreciated bunch, all told, and the most fascinating sociopolitical group. Where else will you find a group that's very quick to point out its own intelligence and academic aptitude, and yet is still dumb enough to spout movie, video game and TV series catchphrases and drop Cube-knows-how much money on tie-in crap?

Hooray for fans! If it wasn't for fans, you science fiction writers wouldn't be where you are today.

No, stop laughing. You wouldn't be where you are today without them. Think about that, and all that that implies. Every pasty-faced tit who insists on cornering you at conventions and telling you at length about their fanfiction? That seventeen-stone packet of instant ennui (just add water! …and soap, preferably) is the core audience for your merchandise. That person has probably had a swift one off the wrist while wearing a t-shirt with the label of the franchise on it. While reading 'erotic' fanfiction based on your stories.

It'd be nice if the reward somehow matched up to that knowledge, wouldn't it? If the odour of cat piss actually guaranteed you'd earn out and get some income from those books besides the advance on royalties.

And if you producers of material for fandom consumption are feeling a bit depressed, just let me weigh in with the following point: I wish I had some fans too. Just a couple. Just so I could look at them and feel superior. That'd be great. Someone who'd lap up all this bullshit and see me for the genius I am. Any takers?

Originally posted to slacknhash.net on January 13, 2008.

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