Are you FED UP with the youth of today being a nuisance? Do you LONG for those bygone days when children could be sent up chimneys to do something USEFUL and thereby learn RESPECT, or at least DIE of sweep's LUNG?
RECLAIM your peace of mind with PORT-A-CHIMNEY. This wheeled MIRACLE OF THE ELECTRIC AGE can confine up to ONE AND A HALF CHILDREN, leaving their legs enough room so they can at least DREAM of freedom, but pinning their arms HELPLESSLY TO THEIR SIDES!
Say "Fare-thee-well!" to JUVENILE DELINQUENCY, ANARCHY and MASTURBATION and a hearty "Hullo!" to DISCIPLINE and children showing RESPECT to their ELDERS and BETTERS!
"My children don't answer me back any more!" — A.N., Woking
"All I have to say is 'just get up it, son, and less of your lip!' and he starts to tremble!" — N.P., Godalming
"cough cough cough hack step in time cough hack cough wheeze (expires)" — Bert, The Rooftops of Old London Town
Originally posted to slacknhash.net on November 4, 2007.
